then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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