Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
