Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
