In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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