Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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