just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
