when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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