conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The Olympian is in my bed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
