her facebook's as public as her vagina
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I love having hate sex.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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