i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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