so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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