Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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