It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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