do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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