Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
