yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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