He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
