All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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