remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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