you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
