Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
