he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
