dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
