omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
