Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
