i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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