so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
