Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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