his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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