I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
