Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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