Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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