Little spoons don't ask big questions
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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