Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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