god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
