Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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