I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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