Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
