somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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