i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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