in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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