I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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