Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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