things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
