SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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