Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's blow job season.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
