Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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