Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
