How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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