thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
