I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
