I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm passing your future prison.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
