I wish they made helmets for livers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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