Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
