I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
