Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
